I LOVE MY DOGS
I love my dogs, this is their home.
It's my hope they'll never roam.
My faithful friends, they are the best,
this is their home, you are the guest.
If to you they are a peeve,
then by all means please feel free to leave!
The Canine Bill Of Rights
I have the right to give and receive unconditional love
I have the right to a life that is beyond mere survival
I have the right to be trained so I do not become a prisoner of my own misbehavior
I have the right to adequate food and medical care
I have the right to socialize with people and dogs outside my family
I have the right to have my needs and wants respected
I have the right to special time with my people
I have the right to only be bred responsibly-if not at all
I have the right to some time and space all my own
I have the right to be foolish and silly, and to make my person laugh
I have the right to earn my person's trust and to be trusted in return
I have the right to be forgiven
I have the right to die with dignity
When God had made the earth and sky
the flowers and the trees,
He then made all the animals
the fish, the birds and bees.
And when at last He'd finished
not one was quite the same.
"I'll walk this world of mine
and give each one a name."
And so He traveled far and wide
everywhere He went,
a little creature followed Him
until it's strength was spent.
When all were named upon
and in the sky and sea,
the little creature said, "Dear Lord,
there's not one left for me."
the Father said to him,
"I've left you to the end.
I've turned my own name back to front
and called you dog, My friend."
Poem For New Puppy Owners
Don't smell crotches, don't eat plants.
Don't steal food or underpants.
Don't eat my socks, don't grab
DON'T RIP THE STUFFING FROM THAT CHAIR !
Don't eat those peas, don't touch that bush,
Don't chew my shoes,
what IS this mush ?!?
Eat your cookies, drink your drink,
Outta the toilet, outta the sink !
AWAY FROM THE LITTER
BOX, IT'S FOR THE CAT !
(and must you kiss me after that ? )
Raising a puppy is not for the lazy,
Those rugrats are
funny , but also quite crazy.
Don't despair through the toil and strife,
'Cause after three years you'll get back your
So let's go for walkies, so you can do your "thing,"
And maybe I'll get back my new diamond ring !
An old man and his dog were walking down this dirt road with fences on both sides, they
came to a gate in the fence and looked in, it was a nice grassy, woody area, just what a 'huntin' dog and man would like,
but it had a sign saying "No Trespassing".
So they walked on. They came to a beautiful gate with a person in a white robe standing
there. "WELCOME TO HEAVEN" he said. The old man was happy and started in with his dog following him. The gate keeper stopped
him, "Dogs aren't allowed, I'm sorry, but he can't come with you."
"What kinda heaven won't allow dogs? If he can't come in, then I will stay out with him.
He's been my faithful companion all his life, I can't just desert him now."
"Suit yourself, but I have to warn you, the Devil's on this road too and he'll try to
sweet talk you into his area, he'll promise you anything, but, the dog can't go in there either. If you won't leave the dog,
you'll spend eternity on this road."
So the old man and his dog went on. They came to a rundown fence with a gap in it, no
gate, just a hole. Another old man was inside. "Scuse me sir, my dog and I are getting mighty tired, mind if we come in and
sit in the shade for awhile?"
"But of course, come in there's some cold water under that tree over there. Make yourselves
"Your sure my dog can come in?" "The man down the road said dogs weren't allowed anywhere."
"Would you come in if you have to leave the dog?"
"No sir, that's why I didn't go to Heaven, he said the dog couldn't come in. We'll be
spending eternity on this road, and a glass of cold water and some shade would be mighty fine right about now. But, I won't
come in if my buddy here can't come too, and that's final!"
The man smiled a big smile and said "Welcome to Heaven."
"You mean this is heaven? Dogs ARE allowed? How come that fellow down the road said they
"That was the Devil and he gets all the people who are willing to give up a lifelong companion
for a comfortable place to stay. They soon find out their mistake, but then it's too late. The dogs come here, the fickle
people stay there." "GOD wouldn't allow dogs to be banned from Heaven, after all, HE created them to be man's companions in
life, why would he seperate them in death?"
A Dog’s Plea
by Beth Norman Harris
Treat me kindly, my beloved friend, for no heart in
the world is more grateful
for kindness than the
loving heart of me.
Do not break my spirit with a stick, for though I
might lick your hand between blows, your patience
will more quickly teach
me the things you would have me learn.
Speak to me often, for your voice is the world’s
sweetest music, as you must know by the fierce wagging
my tail when the sound of your footstep falls upon
my waiting ear. Please take me inside when it is cold
and wet, for
I am a domesticated animal, no longer accustomed
to bitter element. I ask no greater glory than the privilege
at your feet beside the hearth.
Keep my pan filled with fresh water, for I cannot tell
you when I suffer thirst. Feed me clean food so that I
stay well, to romp and play and do your bidding,
to walk by your side and stand ready,
willing and able to protect you
with my life,
should your life be in danger.
And, my friend, when I am very old and I no longer
enjoy good health, hearing and sight, do not make
to keep my going. I am not having any
fun. Please see to it that my life is taken gently.
I shall leave this earth knowing
that with the last breath
I draw that my fate was always safest in your hands
Jesus Is Watching
This burglar is breaking into a house at night. Sneaking around he suddenly hears: "Jesus is watching you!" The burglar
is shocked, ducks down, remains silent for a while, but nothing happens.
After a minute or so, he hears nothing, so he gets up again. Again he hears, but a little louder and more like a warning:
"Jesus is still watching you!"
"Good heavens!" he thinks, "What's going on here?"
Silently he strafes backward and again -and really loud this time-: "Jesus is *really* watching you!" Okay, this guy is
almost getting a heart attack and switches on his Maglite.
After a little looking around he detects this parrot.
Burglar: "A parrot?"
Parrot: "Yes, that's me!"
"You can talk pretty well!"
Parrot: "Yes, I'm already 50 years of age."
Burglar: "Phew I really thought something
weird was going on here! What's your name?"
Burglar: "Henry? That's a weird name for a parrot."
"Not as weird as 'Jesus' for a rottweiler!"
Ten Good Reasons to Breed Dogs
10. Thought the house was too orderly
9. Never did like having a full nights sleep
8. Wanted my Vet to get a new
7. Thought the furniture looked too nice
6. Love the sounds of puppies in the morning, noon, afternoon, evening,
midnight, pre-dawn, etc.
5. Garden and backyard needed renovations, and didn't want to pay a gardener.
didn't complain enough
3. Kids weren't enough of a challenge
2. If you can train & show one dog, why not ten .
To see if your spouse really meant his vows.
A STUMP FOR A TAIL
You can't buy loyalty, they say
I bought it though, the other day;
You can't buy friendship, tried and true,
just the same, I bought that too.
I made my bid, and on the spot
Bought love and faith and a whole job lot
so all in all
The purchase price was pretty small.
I bought a single trusting heart,
That gave devotion from the
If you think these things are not
for sale, Buy a brown-eyed puppy with
a stump for a tail.
--- author unknown ---
DOG PROPERTY LAWS
1. If I like it, it's mine.
2. if it's in my mouth, it's mine.
3. If I can take it from you, it's mine.
4. If I had it a little while ago, it's mine.
5. If it's mine, it must never appear to be yours in any way.
6. If I'm chewing something up, all the pieces are mine.
7. If it just looks like mine, it's mine.
8. If I saw it first, it's mine.
9. If you are playing with something and you put it down, it automatically becomes mine.
10. If it's broken, it's yours!
Things Dogs Must Try To Remember...
I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.
The garbage collector is NOT
stealing our stuff.
I do not need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm lying under the coffee table.
I will not roll
my toys behind the fridge.
I must shake the rainwater out of my fur BEFORE entering the house.
I will not eat the cats'
food, before or after they eat it.
I will stop trying to find the few remaining pieces of clean carpet in the house when
I am about to throw up.
I will not throw up in the car.
I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc.
not lick my human's face after eating animal poop.
"Kitty box crunchies" are not food.
I will not eat any more socks
and then redeposit them in the backyard after processing.
The diaper pail is not a cookie jar.
I will not wake Mommy
up by sticking my cold, wet nose up her bottom end.
I will not chew my human's toothbrush and not tell them.
not chew crayons or pens, especially not the red ones, or my people will think I am hemorrhaging.
When in the car, I will
not insist on having the window rolled down when it's raining outside.
We do not have a doorbell. I will not bark each
time I hear one on TV.
I will not steal my Mom's underwear and dance all over the back yard with it.
The sofa is not
a face towel. Neither are Mom & Dad's laps.
My head does not belong in the refrigerator.
I will not bite the officer's
hand when he reaches in for Mom's driver's license and car registration.
-- Author Unknown
A Dogs Soul
Every dog must have a soul
Somewhere deep inside
Where all his hurts and grievances
buried with his pride.
Where he decides the good and bad,
The wrong way from the right,
And where his judgement carefully
hidden from our sight.
A dog must have a secret place
Where every thought abides,
A sort of close acquaintance that
trusts in and confides.
And when accused unjustly for
Himself, He cannot speak,
Rebuked, He finds within his soul
comfort he must seek.
He'll love, tho'he is unloved,
And he'll serve tho'badly used,
And one kind word will wipe
The times when he's abused.
Altho' his heart may break in two
His love will still be whole,
Because God gave
to every dog
An understanding Soul!
If you can start
the day without caffeine or pep pills,
If you can be cheerful,
ignoring aches and pains,
If you can resist
complaining and boring people with your troubles,
If you can eat the
same food everyday and be grateful for it,
If you can understand
when loved ones are too busy to give you time,
If you can overlook
when people take things out on you when,
through no fault of yours, something goes wrong,
If you can take criticism
and blame without resentment,
If you can face the
world without lies and deceit,
If you can conquer
tension without medical help,
If you can relax without liquor,
If you can sleep without
the aid of drugs,
If you can do all these
Then you are probably
the family dog.
1. The dog is not allowed in the house.
2. Okay, the dog is allowed in the house, but only in certain rooms.
dog is allowed in all rooms, but has to stay off the furniture.
4. The dog can get on the old furniture only.
the dog is allowed on all the furniture, but is not allowed to sleep with the humans on the bed.
6. Okay, the dog is allowed
on the bed, but only by invitation.
7. The dog can sleep on the bed whenever he wants, but not under the covers.
The dog can sleep under the covers by invitation only.
9. The dog can sleep under the covers every night.
must ask permission to sleep under the covers with the dog.
A DOG OWNERS PRAYER
Oh Lord, don't let me once forget how I love my trusty pet.
Help me learn to disregard
canine craters in my yard.
Show me how to be a buddy even when my sofa's muddy.
Don't allow my pooch to munch postal
carriers for lunch.
Shield my neighbor's cat from view--guide my steps around the doo.
Train me not to curse and scowl
when it's puppy's night to howl.
Grant I shan't awake in fear with a cold nose in my ear.
Give me patience without end--help
me be my dog's "best friend".
A DOG NAMED SEX
Everybody who has a dog calls him "Rover" or "Boy". I call mine "Sex". He's a great pal,
but has caused me a great deal of embarrassment.
When I went to city hall to renew his dog license, I told the clerk, "I would like a license
He said, "I'ed like one too!" Then I said, "but this is for a dog!" He said, he didn't
care what she looked like! Then I said, "You don't understand, I've had Sex since I was nine years old" he winked and said,
"You must have been quite a kid!"
When I got married and went on my honeymoon, I took the dog with me. I told the motel
clerk that I wanted a room for my wife and me, and a special room for Sex. He said, "You don't need a special room, as long
as you pay your bill we don't care what you do." I said, "Look you don't seem to understand, Sex keeps me awake at night."
The clerk said, "Funny, I have the same problem!"
One day I entered Sex in a contest, but before the competition began the dog ran away.
Another contestant asked me why I was just standing there, looking disapointed. I told him I planned to have Sex in the contest.
He told me that I should have sold my own tickets. "But you don't understand" I said. "I had hoped to have Sex on TV." He
said, "Now that cable is all over the place, It's really no big deal anymore."
When my wife and I seperated, we went to court to fight for the custody of the dog.
I said, "Your honor, I had Sex before I was married." The judge said, "The courtroom isn't a confessional, stick to the
case please." Then I told him that after I was married, Sex left me. He said, "Me too."
Last night Sex ran off again. I spent hours looking all over town for him. A cop came
over to me and asked, "What are you doing in this alley at 4 o'clock in the morning?" I told him I was looking for Sex.
My case comes up Friday!
Taken from Ann Landers advice coloum.
Mind Games for Dogs to Play With Humans
After your humans give you
a bath, don't let them towel you dry! Instead, run to their bed, jump up and dry yourself on the sheets. This is especially
good if it's right before your human's bedtime.
Act like a convicted criminal. When your humans come home, put your
ears back, with tail between your legs and chin down, and act as if you have done something really bad. Then, watch as the
humans frantically search the house for the damage they think you have caused. Note: This works best when you have done absolutely
Let the humans teach you a brand new trick. Learn it perfectly. Then the humans try to demonstrate it
to someone else, stare blankly back at the humans. Pretend you have no idea what they're talking about.
Help your humans
learn patience. When you go outside to 'pee', sniff around the entire yard as your humans wait. Act as if the spot you choose
to pee will ultimately decide the fate of the earth.
Draw attention to the human. When out for a walk always pick the busiest, most visible spot to go 'poo.'
Take your time and make sure everyone watches. This works particularly well if your humans have forgotten to bring a plastic
When out for a walk, alternate between choking and coughing every time a strange human walks by.
own rules. Don't always bring back the stick when playing fetch with the humans. Make them go and chase it once in a while.
from your humans. When your humans come home, don't greet them at the door. Instead, hide from them, and make them think something
terrible has happened to you. (Don't reappear until one of your humans is panic-stricken and close to tears).
your human calls you to come back in, always take your time. Walk as slowly as possible back to the door.
Wake up twenty
minutes before the alarm clock is set to go off and make the humans take you out for your morning pee. As soon as you get
back inside, fall asleep. (Humans can rarely fall back asleep after going outside, this will drive them nuts!)
-- Author Unknown
Why Own A Dogs?
Why own a dog? There's a danger you know.
You can't own just one, for the craving will grow.
no doubt they're addictive, wherein lies the danger.
While living with lots, you'll grow poorer and stranger.
is no trouble, and two are so funny.
The third one is easy, the fourth one's a honey.
The fifth one delightful, the
sixth one's a breeze,
You find you can live with a houseful with ease.
So how 'bout another? Would you really dare?
really quite easy but oh, Lord the hair!
With dogs on the sofa and dogs on the bed,
and crates in the kitchen, it's
no bother you've said.
They're really no trouble, their manners are great.
What's just one more dog and just one more
The sofa is hairy, the windows are crusty,
the floor is all footprints, the furniture dusty.
suffers, but what do you care?
Who minds a few noseprints and a little more hair?
So let's keep a puppy, you can always
and a little more time for the dust cloth and broom.
There's hardly a limit to the dogs you can add,
thought of a cutback sure makes you sad.
Each one is so special, so useful, so funny.
The vet, the food bill grows larger,
you owe money.
Your folks never visit, few friends come to stay,
except other dog folks, who all live the same way.
lawn has now died, and your shrubs are dead too,
but your weekends are busy, you're off with your crew.
food and vitamins, training and shots.
And entries and travel and motels which cost lots.
Is it worth it, you wonder? Are you caught in a trap?
Then that favorite dog comes and climbs in your lap.
His look says you're special and you know that you
keep all of the critters in spite of the bill.
Some just for showing and some just to breed.
And some just for
loving, they all fill a need.
But winter's a hassle, the dogs hate it too.
But they must have their walks though they're
numb and you're blue.
Late evening is awful, you scream and you shout
at the dogs on the sofa who refuse to go out.
and the dog shows, the travel, the thrills,
The work and the worry, the pressure, the bills.
The whole thing seems worth
it, the dogs are your life.
They're charming and funny and offset the strife.
Your life-style has changed. Things won't
be the same.
Yes, those dogs are addictive and so is the dog game!!
NOW I LAY ME DOWN TO SLEEP
Now I lay me down to sleep,
The king-size bed is soft and deep..
I sleep right in the center groove
human being can hardly move!
I've trapped her legs, she's tucked in tight
And here is where I pass the night
disturbs me or dares intrude
Till morning comes and "I want food!"
I sneak up slowly to begin
my nibbles on my human's
She wakes up quickly,
I have sharp teeth-
I'm a puppy, don't you see?
For the morning's here
time to play
I always seem to get my way.
So thank you Lord for giving me
This human person that I see.
who hugs and holds me tight
And shares her bed with me at night!
THINGS WE CAN LEARN FROM A DOG
Never pass up the opportunity to go for a joy ride.
Allow the experience of fresh air and the wind in your face to be pure ecstasy.
When loved ones come home, always run to greet them.
When it's in your best interest, practice obedience.
Let others know when they've invaded your territory.
Take naps and stretch before rising.
Run, romp, and play daily.
Eat with gusto and enthusiasm.
Never pretend to be something you're not.
If what you want lies buried, dig until you find it.
When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by, and nuzzle them gently.
Thrive on attention and let people touch you.
Avoid biting when a simple growl will do.
On hot days, drink lots of water and lay under shady trees.
When you're happy, dance around and wag your entire body.
No matter how often you're scolded, don't buy into the guilt thing and pout...run right back and
Bond with your pack.
Delight in the simple joy of a long walk.
If you stare at someone long enough, eventually you'll get what you want.
Don't go out without ID.
When you do something wrong, always take responsibility (as soon as you're dragged out from under
If it's not sloppy, it's not a real kiss.
If at first you don't succeed, whine real loud.
Don't settle for cheap food.
Play nicely with others, but remind them that it's your toy.
Rainy days are best spent indoors.
When a loud thunderstorm comes at night, and the ones you need to impress with your bravery are
asleep, it's okay to hide under the bed.
Top Twelve things your dog would say if he could talk
12. But it SMELLS like food.
11. The CAT did it!
10. Whats say we all drive down to Dairy Queen?
9. Explain that 'HEAT' thing again.
8. Mind if I sit there?
7. You gonna eat ALL of that!?
6. I don't smell anything.
5. Could I see the menu?
4. FETCH THIS!!
3. Next time, I pick the bitch!
2. This isn't a mess, it's ambiance!
and the number one thing he would say:
1. YOUR GOING TO CUT OFF MY WHAT!!!!
OLD DOG IN A LOCKET
Old dog in a locket That lies next to my heart
I will always love you As I did right from
You were right beside me Through the darkest of my days
It was your kind and gentle nature That made me
want to stay
Now I hold you in my arms Your breath still warm against my hand
Our hearts still beat together And
I wonder if you understand
Through the hours that I held you Before the light did leave your soul
I knew a way to
keep you Forever in my hold
I snipped the hair from around your eyes So I would always see
The beauty that surrounds
me Even in times of need
I snipped the hair from around your ears So I would always hear
Music in the distance To
quiet any fears
I snipped the hair from across your back
To bring me strength in time of need
And the power of
your essence Would always be with me
I snipped the hair from around your heart That beat in time with mine
would know that love would find me At some distant time
And so, your life slipped out of mine On a quiet spring like
But I knew that a part of you Old dog in a locket
That lays next to my heart I will always love you
we had to part
Important Dog Training Trick
A rolled-up newspaper can be an effective training tool when used properly. For instance, use the rolled
up newspaper if your dog chews something or has a housebreaking accident. Take the rolled up newspaper and hit yourself over
and over again on the head and repeat to yourself the phrase "I FORGOT TO WATCH MY DOG" ... " I FORGOT TO WATCH MY DOG"...
If your dog laughs at you when you do this, praise him.
-- Author Unknown
A highly timid little man, Casper Milquetoast, ventured into a biker bar in the Bronx and clearing his throat asked, "Um,
err, which of you gentlemen owns the Doberman tied outside to the parking meter?"
A giant of a man, wearing biker leathers, his body hair growing out through the seams, turned slowly on his stool, looked
down at the quivering little man and said, "It's my dog. Why?"
"Well," squeaked the little man, obviously very nervous, "I believe my dog just killed it, sir."
"What?" roared the big man in disbelief. "What in the hell kind of dog do you have?"
"Sir," answered the little man, "it's a little four week old female puppy."
"Bull!" roared the biker, "how could your puppy kill my Doberman?"
"It appears that your dog choked on her, sir."
There is a puddle on the floor,
'tis plain for all to see.
Now is that puddle H2O or is
Just this side of heaven is a place called Rainbow
Bridge. When an animal dies that has been
close to someone here, that pet goes to
There are meadows and hills for all of our special
friends so that they can run and play together.
There is plenty
of food and water and
sunshine, and our friends there are warm and
comfortable. All the animals who had been ill and
are restored to perfect health and vigor;
those who were hurt or maimed are made whole and
strong again just as we remember
them in our dreams of
years and times gone by. The animals are
happy and content, except for one small thing
miss someone very special to them, who had
to stay behind when the beloved pet went away.
They all run and play together, but the day comes when
one suddenly stops and looks up -- the bright eyes are
the body quivers. Suddenly he begins to run from the group,
his body flying over the green grass, his legs hurrying
and faster. You have been spotted, when you
and your special friend finally meet, you cling together in
never to be parted again. The sweet
loving kisses rain upon your face, your hands again caress
the beloved head, and
you look once more into the
trusting eyes of your dear pet, so long gone from your life,
but never absent from your
WELCOME AT RAINBOW BRIDGE
on September 11,
On the morning of September 11, 2001, there was an unprecedented amount of
activity at the Rainbow Bridge. Decisions had to be made. They had to be made quickly. And, they were.
An issue, not often addressed here, is the fact that many residents really
have no loved one for whom to wait. Think of the pups who lived and died in hideous puppy mills. No one on earth loved or
protected them. What about the many who spent unhappy lives tied in backyards? And, the ones who were abused. Who are they
to wait for?
We don't talk about that much up here. We share our loved ones as they arrive,
happy to do so. But we all know there is nothing like having your very own person who thinks you are the most special pup
in the Heavens.
Last Tuesday morning a request rang out for pups not waiting for specific persons
to volunteer for special assignment.. An eager, curious crowd surged excitedly forward, each pup wondering what the assignment
They were told by a solemn voice that unexpectedly, all at once, over 4,000
loving people had left Earth long before they were ready. All the pups, as all pups do, felt the humans' pain deep in their
own hearts. Without hearing more, there was a clamoring among them - "May I have one to comfort?" "I'll take two, I have a
big heart." "I have been saving kisses forever."
One after another they came forward begging for assignment. One cozy-looking
fluffy pup hesitantly asked, "Are there any children coming? I would be very comforting for a child 'cause I'm soft and squishy
and I always wanted to be hugged." A group of Dalmatians came forward asking to meet the Firemen and be their friends. The
larger working breeds offered to greet the Police Officers and make them feel at home. Little dogs volunteered to do what
they do best, cuddle and kiss.
Dogs who on Earth had never had a kind word or a pat on the head, stepped forward
and said, "I will love any human who needs love."
Then all the dogs, wherever on Earth they originally came from, rushed to the
Rainbow Bridge and stood waiting, overflowing with love to share - each tail wagging an American Flag.
~ Alexander Theodore Bouvier, Fourth Year Resident ~
NOT A ANGEL
The young pup and the older dog lay on the sweet shaded grass watching the reunions.
Sometimes a man, sometimes a woman, sometimes a whole family would apporoach the rainbow
bridge, be greeted by their loving pets and cross the bridge together.
The young pup playfully nipped at the old one."Look!" "Something
wonderful is happening!" The older dog stood up and barked, "Quickly, get over to the path."
"But it's not my owner," whined the pup, but he did as he was told'
Thousands of pets surged forward as a figure in white walked on the path towards the bridge.
After the glowing figure passed each animal, that animal bowed it's head in love and respect. The figure finally approached
the bridge, and was meet by a menagerie of joyous animals. Together they all walked over the bridge and disappered.
The young pup was still in awe. "Was that an angel?" he whispered. "No son," the older dog
replied. "That was more then an angel, that was a person who worked rescue."
Upon entering the little country store, the stranger noticed a sign saying DANGER! BEWARE OF DOG! posted on the glass door.
Inside he noticed a harmless old hound dog asleep on the floor beside the cash register.
He asked the store manager, "Is THAT the dog folks are supposed to beware of?"
"Yep, that's him," he replied.
The stranger couldn't help but be amused. "That certainly doesn't look like a dangerous dog to me. Why in the world would
you post that sign?"
"Because", the owner replied, "before I posted that sign, people kept tripping over him."
If It Should Be
If it should be that I grow weak
And pain should keep
me from my sleep,
Then you must do what must be done
For this last battle cannot be won.
You will be sad I understand
let grief then stay your hand
For this day more than all the rest
Your love for me must stand the test
had so many happy years
What is to come can hold no fears
You'd not want me to suffer so
The time has come please
let me go
Take me where my need they'll tend
And please stay with me until the end
Hold me firm and speak to
Untill my eyes no longer see
I know in time that you will see
The kindness that you did for me
my tail its last has waved
From pain and suffering I've been saved
Please do not grieve it must be you
this painful thing to do
We've been so close, we two, these years
Don't let your heart hold back its tears.
This poem is dedicated to our Min Pin "Pee Wee" She was
with us for 16 wonderful years, from 1987-2003.
GET A DOG
If you want someone who will do anything to please you, get a dog.
If you want someone who will bring you the newspaper without tearing through it first
for the sports page, get a dog.
If you want someone who'll make a
total fool of himself because he's so glad to see you, get a dog.
you want someone who eats whatever you put in front of him and never says his mother made it better, get a dog.
If you want someone who's always eager to go out any time you ask and anywhere you want
to go, get a dog.
If you want someone who can scare away burglars
without waving a lethal weapon around, endangering you and all the neighbors, get a dog.
If you want someone who never touches the remote, couldn't care less about Monday Night Football, and watches dramatic
movies with you as long as you want, get a dog.
If you want someone
who'll be content just to snuggle up and keep you warm in bed, and who you can kick out of bed if he slobbers and snores,
get a dog.
If you want someone
who never criticizes anything you do, doesn't care how good or bad you look, acts as though every word you say is worth hearing,
never complains, and loves you unconditionally all the time, get a dog!
the other hand...
If you want someone who never comes when you call
him, totally ignores you when you walk in the room, leaves hair all over the place, walks all over you, prowls around all
night and come home only to eat and sleep all day, and acts as though you are there only to see that He's happy...
Get a CAT!
How dogs are better than men:
- Dogs do not have problems expressing affection in public.
- Dogs miss you when you're gone.
- Dogs feel guilty when they've done something wrong.
- Dogs admit when they're jealous.
- Dogs are very direct about wanting to go out.
- Dogs do not play games with you -- except fetch (and they never laugh at how you throw).
- You can train a dog.
- Dogs are easy to buy for.
- The worst social disease you can get from dogs is fleas.
- Dogs understand what "NO!" means.
- Dogs mean it when they kiss you.
Where Dogs Are Better Than Women
When a dog licks your ear it has no ulterior motive.
Dogs don't mind if you haven't shaved today.
Dogs don't mind
if you have dinner with your secretary.
If you stroke a dog you can't be had up for sexual harassment
If you call a
dog cute nicknames you can't be had up for sexual harassment.
If you tell a joke in front of a dog you can't be had up
for sexual harassment.
Dogs quite happily sit and watch the football/ cricket/ motor racing without complaining.
aren't worried by how much of your stomach hangs over your belt.
They don't care if you leave your stuff lying around.
don't want to take you shopping.
Dogs don't fill your glovebox and console with "stuff".
Dogs aren't worried when the
account from the hardware store comes in.
Dogs don't say "YOU DID WHATTTT!!!".
They don't expect you to change a tyre
Dogs don't complain when a light bulb blows.
make up lists of things to do round the house.
You can have two or more dogs under the one roof.
Dogs aren't worried
by the length of that girl's skirt.
There's a longer time between bouts of PMS with a dog.
Dogs don't mind if you leave
the seat up, in fact they prefer it.
Dogs don't care what time you get home.
Dogs don't make remarks about your mates
and their habits.
Dogs don't mind if they don't get flowers.
Dogs don't get suspicious if they DO get flowers.
don't invite their mothers over to stay.
You can take your dog fishing.
You don't have to drive miles out of your way
to find a "suitable" restroom for your dog.
Dogs don't like cats.
There is no incorrect wash cycle for a dog's clothes.
don't constantly remind you if your performance wasn't up to scratch.
won't find doggy things hanging up in the bathroom.
Dogs bite the Avon lady.
A dog's already have a fur coat and Greenpeace
Dogs don't care what you say to other drivers.
Dogs will defend you if you say too much to other drivers.
can usually have the last word with a dog.
Dogs do not have a driving ambition to change you.
A dog doesn't care if
you talk to your neighbour's wife/ daughter over the fence.
A dog doesn't care how much you earn.
Dogs don't have bad
Even if they do, it's not the end of the world
Dogs don't fill your bathroom cabinet with "face in a jar".
look the same first thing in the morning as the rest of the day.
Dogs don't turn into their mother after twenty years.
Dogs don't mind what you scratch when in public.
How Could You?
By Jim Willis,
When I was a puppy, I entertained you with my antics and made you laugh. You called me
your child, and despite a number of chewed shoes and a couple of murdered throw pillows, I became your best friend. Whenever
I was "bad," you'd shake your finger at me and ask "How could you? -- but then you'd relent and roll me over for a belly rub.
My housebreaking took a little longer than expected, because you were terribly busy, but
we worked on that together. I remember those nights of nuzzling you in bed and listening to your confidences and secret dreams,
and I believed that life could not be
any more perfect.
We went for long walks and runs in the park, car rides, stops for ice cream (I only got
the cone because "ice cream is bad for dogs" you said), and I took long naps in the sun waiting for you to come home at the
end of the day.
Gradually, you began spending more time at work and on your career, and more time searching
for a human mate. I waited for you patiently, comforted you through heartbreaks and disappointments, never chided you about
bad decisions, and romped with glee at your homecomings, and when you fell in love.
She, now your wife, is not a "dog person" -- still I welcomed her into our home, tried
to show her affection, and obeyed her. I was happy because you were happy.
Then the human babies came along and I shared your excitement. I was fascinated by their
pinkness, how they smelled, and I wanted to mother them, too. Only she and you worried that I might hurt them, and I spent
most of my time banished to another room,
or to a dog crate. Oh, how I
wanted to love them, but I became a prisoner of love."
As they began to grow, I became their friend. They clung to my fur and pulled themselves
up on wobbly legs, poked fingers in my eyes, investigated my ears, and gave me kisses on my nose. I loved everything about
them and their touch -- because your touch was now so infrequent -- and I would've defended them with my life if need
be. I would sneak into their beds and listen to their worries and secret dreams, and
together we waited for the sound of your car in the driveway.
There had been a time, when others asked you if you had a dog, that you produced a photo
of me from your wallet and told them stories about me. These past few years, you just answered "yes" and changed the subject.
I had gone from being "your dog" to
"just a dog," and you resented every
expenditure on my behalf.
Now, you have a new career opportunity in another city, and you and they will be moving
to an apartment that does not allow pets. You've made the right decision for your "family," but there was a time when I was
your only family.
I was excited about the car ride until we arrived at the animal shelter. It smelled of
dogs and cats, of fear, of hopelessness. You filled out the paperwork and said "I know you will find a good home for her."
They shrugged and gave you a pained look. They understand the realities facing a middle-aged dog, even one with "papers."
You had to pry your son's fingers loose from my collar as he screamed, "No, Daddy! Please
don't let them take my dog!" And I worried for him, and what lessons you had just taught him about friendship and loyalty,
about love and responsibility, and about
respect for all life.
You gave me a good-bye pat on the head, avoided my eyes, and politely refused to take
my collar and leash with you. You had a deadline to meet and now I have one, too. After you left, the two nice ladies said
you probably knew about your upcoming move
months ago and made no attempt
to find me another good home. They shook their heads and asked "How could you?"
They are as attentive to us here in the shelter as their busy schedules allow. They feed
us, of course, but I lost my appetite days ago.
At first, whenever anyone passed my pen, I rushed to the front, hoping it was you that
you had changed your mind -- that this was all a bad dream...or I hoped it would at least be someone who cared, anyone who
might save me. When I realized I could not compete with the frolicking for attention of happy puppies, oblivious to their
own fate, I retreated to a far corner and waited. I heard her footsteps as she came for me at the end of the day, and I padded
along the aisle after her to a separate room. A blissfully quiet room.
She placed me on the table and rubbed my ears, and told me not to worry. My heart pounded
in anticipation of what was to come, but there was also a sense of relief. The prisoner of love had run out of days.
As is my nature, I was more concerned about her. The burden which she bears weighs heavily
on her, and I know that, the same way I knew your every mood.
She gently placed a tourniquet around my foreleg as a tear ran down her cheek. I licked
her hand in the same way I used to comfort you so many years ago.
She expertly slid the hypodermic needle into my vein. As I felt the sting and the cool
liquid coursing through my body, I lay down sleepily, looked into her kind eyes and murmured "How could you?"
Perhaps because she understood my dogspeak, she said "I'm so sorry." She hugged me, and
hurriedly explained it was her job to make sure I went to a better place, where I wouldn't be ignored or abused or abandoned,
or have to fend for myself --a place of
love and light so very different
from this earthly place.
And with my last bit of energy, I tried to convey to her with a thump of my tail that
my "How could you?" was not directed at her. It was directed at you, My Beloved Master, I was thinking of you. I will think
of you and wait for you forever. May everyone in your life continue to show you so much loyalty.
A Note from the Author:
Could You?" brought tears to your eyes as you read it, as it did to mine as I wrote it, it is because it is the composite
story of the millions of formerly "owned" pets who die each year in American and Canadian animal shelters. Anyone is welcome
to distribute the essay for a noncommercial purpose, as long as it is properly attributed with the copyright notice. Please
use it to help educate, on your websites, in newsletters, on animal shelter and vet office bulletin boards. Tell the public
that the decision to add a pet to the family is an important one for life, that animals deserve our love and sensible care,
that finding another appropriate home for your animal is your responsibility and any local humane society or animal welfare
league can offer you good advice, and that all life is precious. Please do your part to stop the killing, and encourage all
spay and neuter campaigns in order to prevent unwanted animals.
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